Halloween

Tonight we had our second and third Halloween parties. The first was on Saturday night at Jack and Sue's block of flats. And they say that american culture hasn't made it here to Australia.

It's interesting. Pre kids, I would have abhorred the creeping americanisation inherent in celebrating another (commercial) holiday, but it is nice to have an excuse for a party that doesn't involve a round of birthday presents. It did involve dressing up for all kids and many grown ups, but in most cases, dressing up in stuff that they already owned.

Each party had various party games, involved people around the neighbourhood getting to know each other better as the parties were short, neighbourhood affairs, and were good fun for all involved. Seems like a good excuse for a party to me! Trick or treating (which I decided was too much on top of two parties) also seems like a good excuse to get to know the neighbourhood better.

Callum and Declan were underwhelmed by the occasion itself, but did enjoy being at various parties. Declan, in particular, enjoyed the chance to eat lots of junk food.

School orientation 2

Callum had his second morning at Cammeray School. Once again he had a great time. He spent time with a different teacher and I had a chat with her afterwards. Her feeling was he would have no problems starting next year. Next step is a meeting with the school counsellor and assorted others in ten days time.

Swimming

It was a horrible wet day today. We're so accustomed to Sydney's drought that we have no standard wet weather activities. Claire (and Jennifer and Paul) came over this morning, to provide a bit of light relief, but this afternoon, all we could think of was to go swimming.

Callum continued with his favourite activity - jumping into the pool and climbing out - repeat up to 1,000. Declan managed to swim almost the whole length of the pool and back on his noodle! I think he's been able to do it for a while, but today was the first time that he decided that was any point to it. (the main point was chasing me, and then Evan, to tickle).

Callum in his swim

We went for a swim with Archie and Stan this afternoon at the pool near their house in Cremorne. Callum was over the moon when he realised the pool is called "MacCallum Pool".

The aftermath

Tired, we're all tired. But the kids had a great time with Jack staying over. Callum has threatened to drag the futon mattress back to the kids' room if I put it back in storage. When I pointed out he was unlikely to be strong enough a little voice piped in: "I help".

Sleepover

Jack has come over to spend the night with us. He's sleeping on a mattress on the floor in Callum and Declan's room. We did think they might get overexcited, and we weren't disappointed.

We had a lull for about five minutes after we left them to go to sleep, and then it took roughly an hour of complete hyseteria, appeals to authorities ("he's hitting me", "Declan's out of bed" etc etc) and general silliness, with both Evan and I going up there every five minutes in a vain attempt to calm them down.

Interestingly, Declan was the ringleader, usually starting something up again after we'd managed to get them calmed down. The only thing that eventually worked was a threat to remove him out of the room to our room.

We'd like to think that they will wake up later because of it, but don't hold out much hope.

The scales tip

Callum attended the Kindergarten orientation at Cammeray Public School this morning. I went through all the predictable emotions seeing my little boy amongst all these kids about to start school (noooo, come back my baby).

From a practical point of view he passed this hurdle with flying colours. The teacher thought he'd have no trouble at all, particularly pointing out how articulate he is. She did say there was always the difficulty of emotional problems with situations like this, but basically we'd all have to deal with them. She said given where he is now, leaving him to start next year would leave him far too far ahead of his classmates.

Callum had a great time. He met his 'buddy' Alex who showed him round the school and made sure he felt secure. Alex will be there next week and then on Cal's first day of school assuming he starts next year. In his time in the class Callum made puppets for the Three Billy Goats Gruff - and he's been merrily telling us the story from behind the couch for the last few hours (only problem being he wants the pictures facing him).

Next step is he'll go to the orientation again next week but spend time with another teacher. Then we'll meet with the teacher he would have, the principal and the school counselor and decide what to do.

Helicopter

We went to Archie's 4th birthday party in a playground today. Towards the end, as we were packing up, a helicopter landed on the playing field next door. Callum and Declan were both a bit perturbed when it was landing (as were we, when every grain of sand in the playground was whirled up into our faces), but were very excited at the chance to see it up close.

It was a careflight helicopter - what it does is bring doctors to people who are injured. The doctor and the injured person then (in this case) take an ambulance to hospital, so we didn't have to explain someone with bad head injuries being loaded into the helicopter (we were cowardly grateful for this) and the pilot was relatively relaxed and able to chat to us and let the boys glimpse the inside of the helicopter.

Swimming

We went swimming this afternoon, after a hot morning at the North Sydney Children's festival. Callum was at first a bit dubious, as it was a Saturday, but once we got there, he had a wonderful time. First in the big pool, he played fetch for Declan. Declan would throw the pool toy (sinks to the bottom of the pool) to Callum, and Callum would dive to fetch it. Once we got to the big pool, he spent a loooong time jumping in, pushing off the bottom, and swimming to the side.

I was very impressed, having not seen Callum swim for about a month, how suddenly he seems like a child who has grasped the idea of swimming.

One, two, lots

While Declan can count up to ten if he's in the mood, he only understands the concept of one, two, lots. I don't know if its true, but I've read that that's how some "primitive" tribes count, so that's Declan's first mathematical milestone reached.

No trolley

For the first time in four years our family has no trolley. A new stroller was one of the first things we purchased before Callum's birth. Today we passed our last one (we had three at our peak) on to Jackie. I must admit I had a mild pang at the thought of an era of trolleyness passing.

Talking

I was just rereading old posts and realised we hadn't recorded anywhere the absolute explosion in talking that Declan has just had in the last month. He's suddenly moved into complete, quite complex sentences, some of which are even understandable by non family members. A couple of weeks ago both sets of grandparents commented on the dramatic and obvious improvement over a week or two (as they seem him once every week or two). This week it was Angela who hadn't seen him for a while who commented that he was suddenly talking.

Sentences like 'watch me mummy, I jumping on couch' and cute phrases like 'I think so' rather than the more usual 'yes' have recently appeared.

Processing time

Recently I've been noticing how long it takes Callum to process things.

On a short-term level, you can ask Callum something and he wont respond for a moment. It's long enough that I've been assuming he doesn't know and starting to help him. But if you wait a little longer he'll usually come out with the answer. His deliberation time is just different to mine or Jennifer's.

Longer term it's also noticable that Callum can watch something or have something read to him and not appear to take it in - for example he wont respond to questions about something he's just heard. Then two days later he'll come out with something about that thing. So for example, he wont say clearly what he's done at NBK when I pick him up, but on Thursday he'll come out with a fact or song he's learnt on Tuesday. It's like facts go in and he needs some time to process them and file them properly.

Bananas and solemnity

I took Declan to see Bananas in Pyjamas and friends yesterday. We went with Jane and Isabel and Lola (Isabel and Lola are Callum's 4 year old friends). Declan spent the whole concert sitting in my lap, occasionally cracking a small smile at some particularly hysterical piece of slapstick. Isabel and Lola spent the whole concert falling about with laughter at the slapstick, standing up dancing frantically and in Isabel's case (confirmed Bananas fanclub member) with correct actions for each song.

Jane decided that Declan was destined to be a high court judge from his seriousness. I think some of it is about being two rather than four, but some of it is Declan's propensity to fully process something before he reacts to it.

As an aside, on the way back I was asking them all who their favourite character was. Declan said it was Angelina Ballerina (a small guest appearance). Lola said "do you like girl things, Declan? She's for girls". I didn't realise that the gender divide started so young.

Swimming lesson for aspiring parents

We started a new term of swimming lessons yesterday. For the first time both Declan and Callum's classes were full; gone are the days of one-on-one lessons.

For Callum this just meant a lot of time on the side of the pool while Paul worked with others. Callum amused himself by repeatedly slipping off the pool side under water and then surfacing and climbing out. I was pleased to see he's gained both the confidence and the skills to do this successfully - once I realised he was doing it successfully.

Declan's class was headache-inducing. The other three kids in the class are older than Declan but have never had swimming lessons before. All three lost the plot and two of them went into irretrievable hysterics. Lyndan insisted on going on with them so Declan spent 30 minutes pottering about in the small pool surrounded by screaming peers. Luckily Robbie stopped crying after ten minutes and so he and Declan played together while the others melted down.

My take-away from the whole experience was: start your kids swimming lessons in winter, not only is it less crowded but by the time others start they will be calm and confident.

Balancing act

Callum had his first occupational therapy lesson today. He was thrilled to be going to 'play with Caroline' again. Most of the lesson was taken up with pencil-holding and drawing exercises. The funniest part of that (I was listening in) was when Callum was encouraged to draw a picture of a person to grace the front of his new work folder. After he'd drawn the basic outline (with a great deal of help), Caroline asked him to fill in the inside bits - meaning the eyes and nose. Callum proceeded to draw a brain, teeth, oesophagus and stomach.

At the end they moved on to gross motor for a while. This had Callum standing on a teeter board while catching beanbags and then throwing them into buckets. His balance was far from improved by the amount of laughing he was doing and I had to hide behind a newspaper so my laughter didn't distract him.

Reading

Callum is starting to get into reading now. There are several simple books he has read completely by himself (with a parent watching and pointing). The thing I find most interesting to watch is when we're out. He is very excited every time he sees a word that he can read, and never fails to point it out. Favourite street signs include "one way", "bus zone", "thomas street cafe", and "do not feed the birds".

It reminds me of when I was in Japan - it gave me a thrill to see anything in english that I could read when I was wondering around the streets. I think it's a power over the world thing - if you can decipher signs, you have more control over your world because you understand more.

Declan stuff

We've gone days now without another tantrum, although we're still seeing stubbornness and disobedience much more than makes for a pleasant day. I'm beginning to worry because I keep having to threaten Dec to get him to do things. When we're out the only threat that works is saying 'goodbye' and walking off. It does work, every time; but I have this horrible feeling that in thirty years time Dec will spend time complaining to his analyst that his father kept abandoning him as a child.

On the positive side he intersperses those moments with moments of real charm, he's talking in quite a sophisticated fashion now, and he will always share any food he gets with Callum and his friends without any prompting at all.

Acceleration progression

I went to visit two schools on Tuesday.

The first was the local school, North Sydney Dem. I met the principal largely to report on the awful meeting I'd had the the Deputy and the School Counsellor. The principal told a somewhat different story about acceleration and giftedness and reassured me a bit, but there was still a lot to worry about. The main worries centre on there still being a sense of forcing them to accept him and lack of an actual plan.

I then went to Cammeray Public School. The Principal there was absolutely lovely. In stark contrast to the Dem the interview was not an argument about whether to accelerate - she simply said "Oh you HAVE to accelerate him if he's up to it emotionally.". She went on to explain how they create a tailored curriculum for each child and how they focus on them as individuals (and this wasn't just words, there is a mechanism to actually follow through).

Cammeray is not our catchment school, but when I asked if they would take out-of-area kids she said, "Don't worry about this, we can give priority to special needs children and Callum clearly falls into that category."

We agreed Callum will do the upcoming two days of Kindergarten orientation and the teachers will be briefed to keep a particular eye on him to assess his capacity to handle joining their class.

We're thrilled. The outcome isn't really the issue - acceleration remains moot. First, Cammeray has reignited our faith in the public school system. And, second, we now have some faith that we can discuss and agree an outcome with people who are interested in the best outcome for Callum as an individual.

Sleep in

All yesterday afternoon and into the evening I had 'serious conversations' with Callum and Declan (these involve a lot of close eye-contact and serious faces) about what would happen the next morning. I, and then Jennifer who took over in the evening, made it abundantly clear they were not to get out of bed before 6. And it worked! They were quiet until just before 6 and didn't leave their room until 6:20.

Now I recognise I'm risking fate by writing this down but the joy is just too much not to report...

I have something to ask you

Callum has, for a while, had a delaying tactic for sleeping. After I've got downstairs, from putting them to bed, he calls out "mummy, I have something to ask you". I go upstairs, and he tells me a story about Toby the tram engine (always the same story, narrated so fast it is very difficult to understand).

Lately, Declan has taken to doing the same thing. He calls out "mummy, something ask you". When I get upstairs, he tells me a story about Gordon the express engine falling into a ditch.

Big day

Today we went to Manly. First in the morning we walked to Shelley Beach and back with Sue and Jack. The boys did really well playing with each other at Shelley Beach while Sue and Evan and I sat and chatted.

Then we had lunch with Granny and Grandad, Granny Marta, Uncles Kevin and Martin, and Kevin's parents. Again both boys were on their best form. Callum winningly asked Uncle Martin to help with the computer, and together they discovered a new Thomas game on a website somewhere. Declan persuaded his grandad to draw things for him (although he was just a little overscathing, I thought, at Grandad's seeming inability to draw a train of exactly the right length on the Harbour Bridge).

Chinese Gardens

Yesterday, Declan and I went to the Chinese Gardens where we met Claire and Jennifer. Evan asked whether Claire and Declan were different together when there were no other kids around. I think Declan was much chattier in the absence of Callum, but I don't think this had anything to do with Claire's presence. They did sometimes play together and interact; chasing each other around the big building at the top, for example; but they mostly are still in parallel play mode.

Interestingly, while Declan constantly begs to be carried when we are out, Claire gets very upset if you pick her up and carry her (mostly because she's not going in the right direction, for example). Either we force Declan to walk too much for his little legs, or he's showing signs of his mother's incipient laziness.

I can outlast you

Once each yesterday and today Declan has thrown the worst tantrums of our entire child-rearing experience. They've started fairly innocuously, escalated because he's refused to go to the naughty stair, and then blown up entirely when he's been sent to his room. We've then endured 15-20 minutes of full-on screaming and some further escalation to throwing things around the room.

Both times we've outlasted him and he's come away contrite, but I really hope this is a quickly passing phase.

No I do it myself

is Declan's new phrase. If he's decided that he wants to do something and you accidentally do it for him, he will get very upset, do his best to reverse whatever it is you've done, and then do it again himself. Fortunately, we haven't yet had anything too irreversible (although I came close the other night when I started to take the top off his yoghurt).

Bringing them up tough

Regular readers will know that Cal's favourite colour is pink. We thought Declan had gone the more traditional blue and green route until this afternoon. We went shopping for new swim suits at the Cancer Council shop in Chatswood. Completely unprompted he picked out the lovely pink frilly number in the photo. I don't mind, really I don't... (oh, and no we didn't buy it).

Absolute terror

We had a bad experience this morning.

We were at playgroup and Callum was running around. He ran full-pelt at the door and met Jack coming the other way, also running all out. At first I thought they had just bumped heads, but then things quickly deteriorated. In quick succession Cal stopped responding, went completely limp, stopped breathing, his eyes rolled up in his head and bubbles appeared through his clenched jaws. I was scared enough that I shouted for Jennifer to call an ambulance while I tried to jam my little finger through his clenched teeth to hook what I thought might be his swallowed tongue out. At that moment he gave a cough and came back.

I think he got hit with a combination of being completely winded by the collision, trying to cry and then some shock. Within ten minutes he appeared fully recovered. It may take me a while longer.

Art gallery

We went to the art gallery this morning, just to see what the boys thought of it. To keep them interested, we asked them to choose their favourite painting. They kept forgetting this notion, so the actual choice was heavily influenced by parental suggestions. That said, Callum's was the hills hoist sculpture with fruit bats hanging from it. And Declan's was the semi circle of head sculptures at the entrance.

They both got into it more than I expected, although half an hour was clearly enough.

Morning at the beach

We had a lovely morning at Greenwich Baths. The boys played with Archie and Jack and assorted other children. Everyone was happy and they all played so well that we parents got to sit and watch without having to run around intervening all the time. It was glorious.